The Quiet Beauty of Others' Lives
Instrumental Co-Captain, Nicole, compares pearls to people – they come in all different shapes and colours, and they all shine and sparkle in their own way.
Each week, our student leaders share their insights with their peers in Assembly.
Driving through the city last weekend, we passed rows of apartment buildings. Each window was lit in a slightly different colour – warm ambers, soft blues, flashes from TV screens, and the dim orange of a hallway light. Each of these windows represented a story behind the curtains and walls. Maybe someone was laughing over dinner, another maybe arguing with a friend, or another was reading in silence. Even though all those people live in the same building, under the same roof, every one of them is living a different life.
And for a moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of sonder – realising that we are all living out our rich lives, with complicated stories, right next to one another, barely noticing.
But what is sonder? It is a word that describes the realisation that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. It means taking the time to understand that everyone around you has their dreams, ambitions, heartbreaks, and struggles. I think it’s a beautiful introspective concept. It teaches us to empathise with everyone and shifts our perspective from seeing others as background characters in our story, to recognising them as main characters in their own.
It is easy to place ourselves at the centre of everything, treating our problems, emotions, and desires as the most important. After all, it is part of the innate human condition – we pursue what benefits us, whether it's money, status or comfort. We focus so much on ourselves that we forget to stop and value what is around us. When we slow down and take the time to notice small details, we begin to see and appreciate quiet beauty, the sun shining through clouds and laughing together with friends.
Sonder can often break these self-centred thinking patterns. It reminds us that everyone is experiencing happiness, fear, and love just as deeply. It helps us to approach others with more patience and understanding.
There are so many aspects of people’s lives unfolding behind closed doors. Every person you pass, be it on a train, in a café, at school or sport, carries a whole world within them; a world shaped by their views, values, and experiences.
I enjoy listening to someone talk about their passions and what they love. That level of sincerity makes it easier to see their point of view, and it makes me appreciate things I may never have paid attention to before.
Everyone sees the world a little differently, and that’s okay. It’s what makes each one of us unique and special. Imagine how boring life would be if we all thought the same, dressed the same, acted the same, and felt the same about everything.
No pearl is the same. They come in all different shapes and colours, and they all shine and sparkle in their own way.
As individuals, I think we should be more curious, not in a nosy way, but in a compassionate one. The more we listen, the more we can understand someone else’s perspective, even if it’s very different to our own.
We begin to see how much richness there is in the human experience, how much beauty, resilience, and connection exist around us. This world has so much to offer, not just in the places we travel to or the things we do every day, but with the people we meet and the connections we make. You may have had a time when you weren’t feeling your best, and it was a friend who stayed by your side and made you smile when you really needed it. This strong value of connection is what brings people together. True connection doesn’t come from forcing others to think like us. It comes from respecting where they’re coming from. Each person has a different story to tell, and it is up to us in our lifetime how we define our own.
Live every moment to the fullest. Be curious, have compassion and kindness towards everyone around you.
And to my beautiful Class of 2025, in the words of Billy Joel, “Slow down you’re doing fine, you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time.”
This is an edited version of Nicole’s Assembly speech.